saraswati: refusing the roles of patriarchy

The way I see it now, my main mission in life, and in this course, is to help women remember. We as the collective feminine have forgotten who we are. For some, we have totally lost touch with our true essence. For others, we are waking up, feeling our essence, but maybe have forgotten some key aspects of our true self. For me, the key themes that have played out in my life are helping me to remember my power, my worth, and my goodness. I am reclaiming them now. At times I believe it is also my path to help other women remember their power, goodnesss, and worth, but we all have a different quest to reclaim different aspects of our wholeness. And this is what these Goddess meditations can awaken within us. A return to our wholeness. An opportunity to realize and reclaim the aspects of our whole self that have been lost, forgotten, unrealized, or denied. Each Goddess represents different aspects of the whole Divine Feminine and by studying a practicing with these Goddess energies we can all on and strengthen our personal innate gifts as well as awaken aspects that we admire and want to develop. The Goddess is real. She lives in us and around us and she is waiting on you to call on Her. 

On Monday, May 1 we will call on the energies of the Goddess Saraswati. Working with Saraswati has been life changing for me. In learning about her, I recognize so much within myself that I have been denying or explaining away. For example, I am a lover of solitude. It fuels me and gives me space to delve deeply into my practice. In romantic relationships, I have often felt confused when I need big chunks of time alone. Days or even weeks. TIme to go inward, to read, write, be introspective and focus on my own passions. I would feel guilty asking for it and wonder, "Do I truly love him if I want to be alone so much?" So, I would often deny that need which would inevitably lead to resentment and hurt feelings. And then I read about Saraswati. Saraswati is the Goddess of wisdom, language, music, writing, communication, and the independent woman. She is one of the rare un-partnered Goddesses. There are several myths about Saraswati and one is that she was married to the God, Brahma. Brahma was not happy when Saraswati would fail in her "wifely" duties and disappear for days lost in her introspection and creations, and eventually divorced her when she failed to show up at one of his important celestial functions. When I read this, I cried deeply because I could so strongly relate. With this release came two big realizations.

The first is that I can no longer deny or diminish this very deeply embedded aspect of myself. So, instead, I began to feed it. i created a very beautiful space in our home for me to nurture my creations. I call it the "moon room." I decorated it with my own creative flair and bought myself a desk to write by the garden window. A glowing rose quartz Ganesh sits on my desk and in the center of the moon room is a Saraswati altar. I love this room so much and it has been an important symbol for me in claiming who I am unapologetically. Tapping into this energy in a conscious way empowered me to (finally) create my writing blog and even start taking cello lessons. Calling on Saraswati has helped me to awaken, materialize and honor my gifts and for that I am so grateful. 

My second big realization is that it takes a very special partner to be with a thriving Saraswati woman. I emphasize thriving, because it seems that when her independent qualities are not truly honored and appreciated (by her self or her partner), a Saraswati woman can find her life force withering in relationship. The partner must be secure enough not to be threatened by her need to withdraw at times. Even better if they encourage her to to listen to that need. My husband told me an amazing quote that his married friends have on their refrigerator : "May I be the guardian of your solitude." I LOVE this. Without this type of co-nurturing, a Saraswati woman may find it easier and true to her essence to stay single. When discussing our upcoming marriage, my husband and I had some big conversations around this topic. Luckily, he is very secure and it also helps that he has quite a bit of Saraswati energy himself, so the solitude breaks are restorative for him as well. What I found after having the courage to claim this part of me and communicate it openly with my husband, was that when we do come back together, I am overflowing with gratitude and love towards him. So much sweeter than the resentment that may have developed had we not honored Saraswati's call within us. 

Most of what I have learned about the Goddesses comes from Sally Kempton's book Awakening Shakti. I will leave you with one of my favorite insights from this book: "A Saraswati woman gets her deepest satisfaction from being in touch with that source of inspiration and creativity." 

To learn more about the practices of the Goddess and how they can transform your life, join us for my 4 week series, Embodiment of the Goddess. More info Here: